Past, Present, Future (Of Love)
by Takato Lover16
Summary: The coincidence seemed unreal – even the coincidences of a love story.
1. Love & Dreams

**Hello everyone. **** This'll most likely be the last thing I upload onto here, but hey, it's been fun. **

**I really do hope you enjoy this.**

Love & Dreams

Curdling rain down my window avenue – thought I'd heard you in the radio.

Sleep fled from reach – probably believes, too, that I shouldn't be alone tonight. 19th birthday – parents away, friends invited but I didn't feel like entertaining tonight. Not tonight, not tonight when you're on my mind, tonight.

I wanted it all – that's why I invited you, and you must've sensed it. It all being a meeting with you without the alibi of working.

Maybe there should've been a stronger fight fought on my side; after all, there was a sense of intensity, when our hands touched in that hand wrestle.

Thinking like this isn't going to escape me from insomnia.

Long lace lines streak through the outside space, like tense violin strings. The strings then warped unstrung, ricocheting lamppost orange glow. Contrasting moonlight calmed the scene in a white hue, relieving me, inspiring me, building hope within me.

Maybe you could love me.

But hope, a hope is all it is, and that same hope is all hope will ever be.

I walked across the empty room, empty except myself. Living room: dark; television glow, late night movie – not even that late.

A farewell kiss sorrows the screen with a goodbye fitting for the beginning. Bored, a glance to the mirror – I'm looking quite cute tonight, considering. I smirk to no-one – you always find my vanity funny.

A knock resounded throughout the hallway outside, and my ears perked like a cat's. I appeared before the door, and it swung open magically. I love you.

The coincidence seemed unreal – even the coincidences of a love story.

It was you. I love you. I was in my sleeping clothes. I love you.

The next scene: we eat dinner; you're nice and beautiful, and wonderful and delightful, and beautiful. Your hair drops down slightly as you nod your head down, stealing quickly, the sound flourishing out the violin poised within your graceful grasp. I love you.

I applaud, of course. I love you. You smile, of course.

Me, crossed legs. You, politely straight; I love you.

That same, shitty movie, the exact parts once more; even the rain outside mimicked earlier, and the moon, too; Bastards.

"I'm enjoying this, but I don't understand" You say out-of-nowhere-ly.

"I shouldn't be alone with you tonight" You continue to sing, out-of-the-blue-ly.

You're sincere. I stupidly hide behind lies: "I know I'm way too cool for you, but I thought it'd be fun"

A laugh from you, but I wish you're masking, too.

"Give me your hand" 'In your eyes there is a sign of intensity', I hear Dina Carroll sing from the window.

"No need to hide from the way you feel inside" You breathe your part.

"I feel your shirt, and your heart; and it's going really fast"

My eyes must've seemed like a statue's, but in colour. You gave a sigh, that sigh the bad guys do in murder mystery stories when they're about to confess.

'If only for tonight, don't be a stranger' Dina floated through the glass, perfectly in tune with the melody.

"I want to take a chance, risk it all for you" We partially ignored her, absorbing the words with our ears.

Duet in full bloom, you both finish and she whooshes away on her pink amphibious jetpack. "Tai – I need to know if I've just been imagining the signs you've been sending"

You're beautiful. Everything's beautiful about you. But why won't these words escape me, even now? Aren't they true? They feel true. What's wrong with me? I've perhaps gone crazy. Your eyes stare into mine with desperation – who knew it'd be this way.

My tears brim to their shore, the smell of the words inside me expiring, and the touch of pinched cloth beneath folded arms. I suppose the tears are something escaping, at least. Now yours begin – probably think I don't think of you all the time, imagine us together, about how your perfection would make me look bad but would be worth it a million times over a million.

We were in the television screen now.

You probably think I don't love you.

In full black and white.

But love, that's exactly what I do you.

Taking chances of my own, incredible chances; simple fingers which so rarely reach out, reach out, reach out and caress paleness. Trailing to your salty tonight lips from tears;

But it wasn't your face. It was my pillow.

"Feeling this, but hiding feeling this; it feels like I'm an undercover cop – but dishonest, like guarding yet also trying to steal the Mona Lisa"

And those words didn't reach you; only my pillow.

I should've known – not when Dina Carroll shot off on her pink, amphibious jetpack, but when you were at my door; for that's more impossible that anything. I hate dreams. I'll always act as if it were real. Everyone does – its subconscious. Though some things remain completely unreachable, entirely fictional -

Even in sleep I can't escape, but I can't escape I won't cry for the dreams of yesterday.

I walked across the empty room, empty except myself. Living room: dark; television glow, late night movie – not even that late.

Curdling rain down my window avenue – thought I'd heard you in the radio.


	2. Talking in the Dark Seems to Open Your

Talking in the Dark Seems to Open Your Heart

"I know you must say no to everyone" Closing the laptop's lid exasperatedly, Tai Kamiya slumped against the blue cushioned pillow behind him.

"How's that?" In more of an argumentative tone that intended, Matt Ishida shuffled the square aside and crossed his arms away.

"Because you'd have let someone love you by now" Tanned fingers separated and gestured power to his childishly abrupt answer. But upon the most powerful of words, words ceased or at least, softened.

"Love?"

Tai knew it was only a dating site. Tai knew love didn't really matter. He wasn't little anymore – he knew it was like still believing in Santa Clause. He wasn't stupid; but apparently his mouth and heart, were: "Love"

"Love? I doubt anyone's ever really loved me; romantically, I mean" Matt stroked the fabric of his baggy T-shirt, the one he only sleeps in, the one he wouldn't be seen dead in by anyone. Anyone, but his goofy friend; Best friend;

Secret love – there's that word again.

Like the brunette, he held no delusions for the word. Because that's all it is really; because the feelings that arise, the feelings that make him hop with joy yet cry with sorrow, feelings like these, they couldn't be described with a word. Just a word and only a four letter one at that.

An affectionate punch in the arm from Tai awoke Matt from his reverie, and these words:

"I love you, Matt" The brunette grinned, which depleted any hope from Matt's mind that he was being sincere.

"Shut up" He played back, yanking the leaned-on pillow and smothering it over a face which was, in his opinion, beautiful.

Retreating, Tai abandoned his post and dashed under the duvet, his back bumped horizontally in an unorthodox manner. Blonde hair kept defensive posture, patient, before seeing messy anyway hair, even messier, slide warily above its trench; pillowcase, his makeshift white flag.

Such a warm sight this side of the window pane, but not far beyond the other side of the glass:

Teardrop raindrops caught by mini snow mountains, red wine sky stained the landscape a diluted rosé, like the wounds of all the fallen snowmen.

Light extinguished, just after four. They'd talk all night again.

"Come closer" Tai swallowed his courage back down, knowing he'd need as much as he could muster.

Pale face paused uncharacteristically. "Is that alright?"

"I'm cold – just come here" Bed sheets ripped open impatiently, Tai covered his tracks with a lie.

Their legs were covered entirely, but they still touched. Matt appeared rigid, but only due to his thoughts and love. And love.

Lips parted, but only air. Then, once more, he tried: "You know, we'll be apart soon; it saddens me to think this way, but a part of me knows it's a waste, us being friends any longer – like, we're delaying the inevitable or something"

Caramel eyes swam around their knees for words. Words are futile in the end; obsolete; but it's all he had. "I kind of see what you mean" But that was all.

"Like we're going nowhere" Matt finished, nudging away, building his wall.

"Not exactly – I always go to the happiest places with you" And Tai bulldozed it over once more.

"I do want to not separate" They were closer again.

"You'll meet loads of new friends" Away from closer again.

"But none like you" Closer again.

"What's special about me?" Away again.

The darkness disguised tears well. It did its job.

"Even when I'd broken my ankle and the hospital food was crap, even when it was raining and I was seven and I thought my hands would glue onto the park swing chains, even when my house was burgled, and even when I thought my brown eyes actually turned blue when I was; you were there, and because of that, those were the best of times"

"Thanks, Tai" It was polite. He was hiding his love well; too well.

Darker shoulders shrugged pleasantly, and both sets slid further down.

Matt wondered there in the darkness how sometimes he could feel really close on nights like these, like if he just tip-toed closer to saying how he really felt, how the darkness might just grant his wish, how four in the morning might see his lips touch Tai's.

For in the darkness, and in the 4AM-ness of it all, there're no distractions, no rushing around, just what it all boils down to. For what it all boils down to is love, and being in the dark with Tai, and being in the dark with Tai 10,000 miles away; they're the same, really.

"You'll be on my mind forever"

But that beautiful boy, those beautiful freckles, beautiful eyes and ears; beautiful chest rising only now and again, beautifully soft breath breathing calm; they were already gone – already asleep.

Lying in the dark, he's close, side-by-side. Hiding his feelings; nearly becoming a feeling inside the other. But it's only now, only while the night lasts.

A smile from Matt, then he fell where Tai had.

Pale, angelic face asleep.

Morning lights.

Tanned, ordinary face awake;

"I'll be there when you need me"

And he'd continue to wait.


	3. The Words I Long to Say

The Words I Long to Say

Nonchalant shoppers, bags beside, fit between the others like smugglers; in a rush, as if on fire. Caramel eyes, however, spied a different sight – Matt Ishida – beautiful best friend; all else turned slow-motion within their anticipation.

Imagine if he wore my clothes for just one day; he'd know how much I need him, and how tricky this is for me, Tai thought, a blank face to the floor, the floor covered by millions of passing shoes of colours and schemes.

The pair came to a blue fountain in the centre of the mall; washed tiles smiled with the sunlight shining through the glass roof and sides. And the friends, too, smiled; their need for seats satisfied.

"I am sorry about losing your bag" Tai's view shrunk to the ground.

Blonde bangs ducked under to meet Tai's face. "Nobody's perfect – and nobody should expect you to be. It's only human to make mistakes"

Matt's voice sounded a little agitated – agitated to think that his best friend would think he'd be mad about a small thing like a bag. Despite the tone, the statement did the trick and the brunette smiled broadly – instantly happy once more.

"Let's get out of here"

Those eyes looked at Tai in their special way, and those lips smiled sincerely.

Summer had yet to end, autumn had yet to enter, but orange and brown leaves decorated the pavement a forest floor design, and dotted birds sang an early October ballad.

"Matt" Tai began, knowing he had to burn the bridges behind him.

"Yeah?" This had to be it.

"I can't afford to play a waiting game on something that will probably never come, and I've been afraid. Afraid since I met you" A kick of the leaf corpses, then back down again.

Tai halted, then the clueless Matt.

"I never wanted to take any chances, but I've told myself over and over again – I want us to be more than just friends" The brunette finally took his chance.

"Is this an honest emotion?" And Matt's heart defences retaliated.

"There were times I thought my heart was pretending, but now I'm sure I'll always feel this way" Tai touched, a feather touch, to a pale hand.

And Matt allowed himself love, if only for a second:

"It'd only end in heartbreak – things like that always do" Hand pulled roughly back.

Teary caramel to icy blue;

"I know you feel this way, but don't you trust me?"

Matt's eyes closed.

"I trust you. It's just; I don't trust myself"

Tai had heard enough. His hands encircled the blonde's waist and pushed their torsos, their chests, their hearts, together.

Tai's tanned cheek warmed the side of Matt's face and it melted entirely.

"But you're here now, and we're like this. Doesn't that mean a thing to you?"

"I don't want to lose you" The blonde confessed.

"I've seen you deny yourself someone for too long" Freckles whispered, genuine.

The distance between them now had ceased completely. Their lips brushed and they savoured the moment, content within the knowledge that no-one and nothing could take this memory away.

"If we do this, I could lose you one day"

"Then while I can still say what I want to say, and while you're here to hear the words I long to say, I'll say them"

"Which words?"

**And that's the end. **

**Did you love it? Hate it? I'd love to hear what you thought of it. **

**I won't be uploading any new stories after this, but I do plan on completing all my other ones I've started and never finished. **

**I first started writing FanFics in February 2009; it's improved my writing so much, and I've read tonnes of amazing stories over the years. **

**Everyone who's read something of mine might not see this message, but I'd like to extend my deepest gratitude for you taking the time to read my work. And even more special thanks to the reviewers – because I know damn well how time-consuming that can be. **

**So, really, thank you, everyone. **


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